I am a Three Horn

 I am a Three Horn

 

 

What is wrong with me? Why am I stuck? Why am I so down? I already know this so why am I not progressing? These are all questions I have been asking myself this past month and I have finally figured out the answer. PRIDE! I had allowed pride in my heart which had stopped my progression. Pride in my heart which has kept me from having the full power of the Spirit with me. I have been stubborn about being trained again. I kept saying to myself, " I already know this. All I need to do is learn the language and I am good." Little did I realize that yes I may know a lot in English and how things are done in the States but I have no clue about here in Brazil. I have been like Sarah from the movie The Land Before Time. She was always saying something like, "I don´t need too because I am a Three Horn." I have been constantly saying, " I don´t need to because I have already been trained." I was constantly thinking that I know what I am doing but when in all reality I don´t know. I don´t know exactly where I am going or doing. All my stubborness has done is get me lost, frustrated, and scared. However, with a little direction from my companion; he helped me get back on track. He has been like Little Foot. He has had love, humility, and patience with me and he knows the way right now a lot more than I do. He was not afraid to give me some correction because of his love. Just as the Lord will chasten us because of his love for us. As said in Hebrews 12:6-7  "For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son/daughter whom he receiveth. If ye  endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons/daughters; for what son/daughter is he whom the father chasteneth not?" I know that that our Heavenly Father loves us and wants us to return home to him and his son. It is possible but we must not grow prideful and follow and listen to the one who knows how to get there. Listen and follow our Savior for he truly knows the way we can return. I will do all that I can to follow him and be like him!

Caught Up in Myself

Caught Up in Myself

 

 

I can´t believe that I have already been in Brasil for three weeks. I think the days are going by faster and faster!  I have been picking up the language so fast! I still have a hard time understanding somethings but it will come in time. I love the food and I am having a great time here. I am learning so much! I am also remembering things I have learned in the past. I have realized that as the past few weeks have gone on I have been so caught up in myself. So many things have been I,I,I or me,me,me. For example, "I am new or I am still learning the language." I have lost sight of why I am really here. I am not here so I can learn a language. I am here to serve my master the Lord. I had forgotten the true importance of selflessness but I have once again remembered. I know that if I put the people and the work of the Lord first I will learn faster than I could ever imagine. It doesn´t matter if I say something incorrect or sound wierd. The people may not understand me but the will understand my spirit if it is in line with the Spirit of God. That is what matters most because the Spirit will teach and testify more than correct grammer and pronounciation ever will. The Spirit of God is like a fire burning!

He Will Strengthen Me

He Will Strengthen Me

 

 

I am so tired!!!!!!! I have done so much walking this week that I think that my feet are completely worn out. They are no longer there. I can´t feel them anymore!!! All I eat are rice and beans and nothing else! Not really but it sure seems like it. I am in a city called Itapira and it has so many hills. I am constantly walking up, down, up, down, up, and down these hills constantly. With the walking I am constantly studying the language trying to speak with the people. I can normally communicate what I need to say but when it comes to understanding what they are saying.........well, that is another story. I look wierd enough walking around in a white shirt and tie with a name tag. Lets add that fact that when people talk to me I look like a confused and lost dog. Ha, but it is all good. Although this week has been rough and tiring I have learned so much. I have only been here for two weeks but yet it seem like it is so much longer. No, it is not because I am bored or hate it here but because of all the things I have learned. I have grown in the language and I am able to understand more and more each day. I don´t look so strange when I talk. My legs are getting stronger and the hills seem to be getting smaller and easier. I love the food especially te rice and beans. My love for the people here have grown so much. I am able to see the as children of God even more and how special each person is. There is so much more but I know that it is all because of the Lord. I know he has been here with me every step of the way. Even up those annoying hills. I know that all the weaknessess I have right now are only here to help me. I know I will grow in strength from them. Those that don´t kill me can only make me stronger! He is here with me and he will only strengthen me! 

Similarities in Our Differences

Similarities in Our Differences

 

 

Wow! I can´t believe that I am finally here in Brasil! There were a few brief moments when I thought I wasn´t going to make it. Oh well, what matters now is that I am finally here! It is so beautiful here! Everything is so green and there is so much wildlife. When I say wildlife all that I have really seen is just all the bugs in my house. Spiders, ants, and others that I have no clue what they are! The people are great and really friendly! The food is amazing and people weren´t joking when they said that you really do eat rice and beans everyday. There is so much that is different but there are somethings that will never change no matter where you are. One is that we are all children of our Heavenly Father. No matter what language we speak or color we are he loves us just the same. Second and most importantly the the gosple is exactly the same. The love people have for our Savior and his church are amazing. Even though I am now reading the Book of Mormon in a different language, it contains the same truths. I can still feel the same spirit with me and I have to same knowledge that the message we share as missionaries is true!

I Will be Kept Safe

My life is like this road. I have reached a blind corner where I am not sure what will be coming up. I am unsure of the things which lie ahead of me in Brazil. Is there tragedy or is there greatness? Where will it lead me too? Will I slide off to the side? I am not sure. However, I know that there is one thing which can help me to stay on the road. The guidance of the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost is like the guard rail. If I follow it's warnings and directions it will lead my way. I will be guided around the blind corners of my life. If I stay worthy of the constant companionship I will not lose my way. I know that as I will be kept safe.

Only One Track

 I am walking down the road with a big smile on my face. I feel good! We hear the phone go off. Oh no! It is the big man, President Hutchings! If he is calling to transfer me I will promise I will do better. I will work harder. I promise next time I wont eat the last slice of banana cream pie! I am praying in my heart that everything will be ok. Maybe he just needs to ask me something. Yeah, that is what it is. He just has a simple question to ask me. I am thinking these things but no, I was wrong. He has good news for me. I received my visa! I leave for Brazil this Monday. I have been waiting almost a year for my visa and now it is finally here. It is a good thing but... I feel torn now. Of course, once I feel like I know where I am going something like this comes and throws me off track. I finally felt like I knew where I was going with things. I was getting the hang of being a District Leader (the one who oversees a few other missionaries). I was really enjoying training a new missionary. I was finally getting the roads of the area down and finding many great people to teach. I was seeing many great miracles happen. I had come to love my district and area more than I ever thought I would. I have given my heart to the area and mission. I have lost myself in the work of the Lord. The Nashville, Tennessee mission has become a part of me and now I will start all over again. I have no clue where I am going anymore. I feel lost and I will have to find myself all over again. I feel myself falling.... No! I wont let myself fall again. I had just learned from my district the importance of staying positive and being grateful for the blessings in which I have received. I have to treasure these memories that I have made. I know that as long as I am grateful and follow my Savior I will be on the right track. There is only one correct way and it is his. I have realized that as I pass by the scenery and events will change but the destination will not. There is only one track to our Heavenly Father and it is the way of his son. I know that if I am following the Savior's tracks I will never be lost. I will be on path. I will make it to the end. I love my district and people of my area! I am grateful for the things in which I have learned from them. The friendship that have been made the the love that has been shared. However, I must go the way the Lord wants me to! I know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God! He suffered and died for me so he could show me the way! I will follow him and do all I can to help others follow him. To help them receive the restored gospel. I love my Savior with all my heart and I will do his work. There is none who can deny me of my testimony of the Savior. There is none that can stop me from doing his will. There is none who can stop me from sharing his love.

We Are Together

This week I had the chance to go to Cummins Falls in Tennessee. It was so nice to be able to go out and see some of the natural beauty that our Heavenly Father had created. I love listening to the running waters. It was a good stress relief for me. The past few days I have been going crazy in my mind. Kind of lost on what I need to do. I have no clue where I am going and what is at the end. I have been thrown in front of others to lead. Can I really do it? Will I lead them the right way? Have I been looking back to help them up when they slip? Do they know that I truly care about them? That I want them to succeed. That I want them to go farther than I have. That I want us all to make it to the end and arrive in the same place together? What do I do? Someone please help me! These things are racing through my mind when I begin to realize that I am not alone on this journey. I remember that there are others who know the path. Who have walked down the trail and know all the things to watch for. I began to remember my Savior, Jesus Christ. How he has walked down a dark and lonesome path. He has gone farther than I will ever have to go. He walked down it so that when I would have to walk it I wouldn't be alone. He would be there to guide me and show me the way. He suffered so he could one day comfort me in my pain and sorrow. It doesn't take me long to soon realize that I went from the front of the line to end of the line. Watching every step the others make, praying that no one slips or gets hurt. As I am watching them I have completely forgotten about myself. My mind is completely focused on them. I could see where they were going and knew if I had to warn them of something. If they slipped I was at the bottom to catch them. All of the sudden it hits me that just because you are leading it doesn't always mean you are at the front of the lines. You are in the back watching them standing by incase they fall. You are the one serving not being served. Just as Jesus had lead by serving others. As it says in the bible, "he took upon him the form of a servant." -Philippians 2:7 I received the answer I was looking for. I had learned that I must lose myself in service. I must become as a servant. As I began to think of this my heart felt at peace. I felt calm. I knew that as I was leading I was being lead. I will help others come unto Christ by following him myself. I know that in the end I'll never be alone. There are others on the same path and we are not alone. When we reach the end, we are together!